269 | Family Challenges through the lens of ADHD with Kali Stanton

Kali’s father recently passed away: this podcast is dedicated in memory of her father.

Kali Stanton joins me on this episode of the podcast.  She lives in Minnesota and is a teacher, wife and mom. Her most recent hobby she enjoys are piano lessons. I previously interviewed Kali  in Season 6. She has had many changes in her life since then, including moving to a new town and a new job. Kali was diagnosed in 2015 with ADHD and has now been told she now does not have ADHD.

In the last three years, Kali has had many changes in her life, including having her ADHD “undiagnosed”. The new clinic which treated her sent her to a psychologist for a more accurate diagnosis of Kali’s situation. Kali wasn’t sure what to do, then decided that instead of focusing on a diagnosis, she would focus on how she felt and if the therapy and methods she was practicing were making her feel better or not.

Kali has learned how having empathy for other family members and assisting them when they are diagnosed can help the entire family be better together. She also realizes there are times you need to take a break with another who you are in a relationship with to preserve the relationship for the future.

Your Resources

• The Gift of Adult ADHD: How to Transform Your Child’s Problems into Strengths  | Lara Honos-Webb PhD
• The Red Green Show - Adult ADHD, ADD Blog   | Totally ADD
• The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results  | Gary Keller

You’ll Learn:

• [03:02] Kali talks about her diagnosis and her “undiagnoses”.
• [05:06] She was told her diagnosis of ADHD with the psychiatrist wasn’t valid.
• [09:02] More adults are misdiagnosed with ADHD than are children.
• [10:15] Using strategies and coaching group instead of looking for a diagnosis.
• [12:10] His current wife and others in his family who held him accountable for his actions.
• [13:07] DSM and the lack of validation for patients and getting help for ADHD.
• [15:00] Being on time is a hard challenge, especially with a partner.
• [23:35] Family history and how that plays into the diagnosis with ADHD.
• [26:27] Obsessive, compulsive checking your activities, if you did or didn’t do something.
• [31:44] Autism community, diagnosis and polarization and overlap with ADHD.
• [37:10] Seeing ADHD symptoms in family members and having empathy for them.
• [47:14] Kali’s mom diagnosis and why her diagnosis helped her to put things into perspective.
• [52:04] Putting on “the translator” when trying to decipher what a family member is talking about.
• [53:18] Having compassion and taking a break with others who you have a relationship with.
• [55:40] Resources which helped Kali learn about ADHD and how to deal with symptoms.

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