This episode is part of a four-episode series of mastermind session. A mastermind group is a concept that comes from the book, Think and Grow Rich. We have implemented this concept into our ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. Alumni of our coaching groups have the opportunity to work with me as “addmins,” and those members get an entire hour to sit in the hot seat in our mastermind sessions.
This week, Dan sits in the hot seat. In this conversation, you will hear Dan talk about over-committing. He explains why he has a hard time saying “no,” but this results in sometimes not meeting the deadlines. Dan has a major traveling project coming up, and this situation is the foundation of this discussion.
- [8:48] - Dan sets up this conversation and shares that he struggles with overcommitment.
- [11:44] - Diana asks if Dan has traveled in the trailer before. Dan also talks about setting expectations at work vs. expectations outside of work.
- [15:14] - I ask Dan how often he ignores the little voice in his head. Dan believes he can be intentional about giving the little voice time to pop up.
- [17:10] - I share that having a Plan B doesn’t take much time, and the reward is great. Dan talks about his Plan B.
- [19:08] - Dan explains that he needs to learn how not to say “yes.”
- [20:18] - Sandra wants to know what Dan has done with this RV project, and how he prioritizes the tasks.
- [24:31] - Sandra asks more about contingency plans when working with the list.
- [25:32] - Dan says that there are not hard-stops in their schedule unless it’s for a meeting.
- [26:39] - Dan says that his list is written in a shared note-taking app that he and his wife can use.
- [29:54] - Natalie asks Dan if he has considered getting an antenna to boost his cell phone signal. She also asks for examples of little things that need to be done in the house that overwhelm him.
- [34:15] - I ask Dan for some time-frame dates. I challenge Dan to consider what he would do if he had no time or less time to prepare.
- [38:58] - Natalie reminds Dan that friends will be coming into his house so that they will be more understanding than a customer.
- [40:38] - After Dan talks about envisioning looking what “done” looks like. I talk about the difference between a due date and a done date.
- [49:45] - I ask Dan what the situation would be if he had to tell someone he can’t do something or hit a deadline he committed to.
- [51:50] - I ask Dan to consider what carries more weight, the current satisfaction of saying “yes,” or the future disappointment of not being able to meet the deadline.
- [52:46] - Dan explains how it’s possible to build a reputation as the go-to guy, but then expectations can hurt your career.
- [54:53] - Dan shares that he would be receptive to a suggestion that he seek assistance with a task. I draw a link between Dan’s perfectionism and self-worth.
- [58:54] - Diana talks about her own personal experience in the area of self-worth. Dan shares what he wants to gain from this journey.
- [1:02:46] - I used to say “yes” to everything, and this brought me stress from being overwhelmed. I changed my default answer to “no.”
- [1:07:22] - Natalie suggests bringing yourself back to the big picture and asking why you want to do something.
- [1:10:37] - Natalie brings up Dan’s wife and kids. Dan shares an experience from his ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group.
- [1:14:33] - Dan admits that he is scared.
- [1:17:12] - I share how I threatened myself with Workaholics Anonymous.
- [1:18:55] - Dan shares his takeaways from this conversation.
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