Tue, 31 August 2021
This week, Eric talks with his guest, Henry Holman, about how some of the lessons he's learned through gaming can also apply to real life, the impact of discovering when you're not alone with your ADHD, and dive into a quick coaching session for tips and strategies to managing your to-do's. About Henry: Henry is going to be a senior at DePaul University, studying computer science and is working towards a career in game programming. Although he was diagnosed at 9 years old, he didn’t start learning about ADHD until he was 19, and remains fascinated with the “why” behind his ADHD-ness. He has loved video games for as long as he can remember, and in recent years, he has learned a lot about himself as he strives to improve at competitive Super Smash Brothers™. His long term career goal is to create a game that makes players feel like they have ADHD, to increase awareness and understanding surrounding the disorder. This is one of the first episodes in a while where Eric gets to have a guest in-studio!
[00:02:48] - Eric asks how Henry got into video games. It all started with a Game Boy Color™ and a McDonalds toy. Henry and his siblings also split a game console.Then Eric and Henry hash out their virtual tennis accomplishments, and why a lamp-timer is helpful. [00:04:39] - Henry talks about a video game he wants to create that will make people feel like they have ADHD. His brother recommends a game to play, where the underlying theme of the game is a metaphor for overcoming the character’s anxiety, and why it resonated with Henry. He also talks about a game he’s played where the character in the game suffers from psychosis, which also gave him inspiration.
Fun fact: The game Henry mentions in the timestamp above was, indeed, made in collaboration with neuroscientists and mental health professionals. Henry says, “They didn’t want to do [the game] a disservice” and wanted to break a misrepresentation of mental health in games. Read more:
[00:08:31] - Eric asks where Henry is at [with his game]. Henry has already made some prototype levels, designed after Dr. Russell Barkley’s theory of executive deficits, and how the levels represent these deficits. [00:11:00] - Eric and Henry talk about enthusiasm vs. pursuing a passion professionally. Henry reflects on an episode of ADHD reWired he’s listened to. “We don’t have the luxury [with ADHD] of doing things we don’t like to do for a living” is a phrase that resonates with how he felt about school. [00:12:44] - Henry really wanted to do game design as a career, but got a “C” in a game-design class, but didn’t quite know what it was he truly wanted to do. Later on, Henry discovers a love for programming, problem-solving, and playing with Lego and K’nex. [00:15:31] - A moment of ADHD happens right before the break. [00:22:26] - Henry started educating himself after getting stuck on breaking his skill-ceiling, and talks about the game he dove into to learn how to play competitively. Eric and Henry nerd out about their “mains” in Super Smash Brothers™. Henry explains how picking up a new character in the game was a perfect metaphor for living life with ADHD. [00:27:13] - “Autopilot” isn’t effective. Henry talks about how his skill-ceiling led to frustration, and coming up with new strategies after losing another set. When he realizes his ADHD may have something to do with his struggles, he talks about diving into ADDitude magazine articles, watching HowToADHD videos on YouTube, and going down the ADHD Reddit rabbit-hole. [00:30:48] - Henry learns about tournament-nerves, staying calm under pressure, and being able to control impulses, and how in Super Smash Brothers™ was helpful to apply the principles he learned to the real world. [00:33:20] - Henry recommends taking a drink of water to knock your body out of fight-flight-freeze mode, and how it became his pause-mechanism. [00:34:33] - Henry’s passion about games “speaks to if we’re going to problem-solve around any area of life, if we can figure out a way to put it through the lens of what we are passionate about, it gives our brain a fighting chance.” - Eric [00:40:55] - Eric and Henry go through some coaching about a consistent system to keep track of his to-do’s. From a digital-assignment notebook and a whiteboard. [00:44:46] - Eric and Henry talk about the assignment books they received in school, and dive into some of the tools Henry used to use, and how what has worked before never lasted for him, aside from Google Calendar. Then, Eric asks, “What if we can… shift to the mindset from ‘I want to find a consistent tool’ to being quick to pivot when we realize we are no longer paying attention to this tool?” [00:47.01] - Eric talks about the different places his to-do’s live, and what Eric found helpful for him. Eric also recommends setting a reminder that asks, “Am I using this tool?” Then, Henry reflects on how this could work for him. Eric also recommends using an erasable pen when using a paper-calendar. [00:49.07] - Henry shares his issue with communication, how he stores the information he’s been given, and how shorthand isn’t always the best way to store that information. [00:52:14] - Eric goes over keeping track of to-do’s, then checking-in with the to-do’s. Mentioned here: Book - Change Your Questions, Change Your Life (affiliate link) [00:54:52] - “The thing that I think is most important to be cognizant of is, ‘What are you doing now, what are you doing next?' ...because knowing what’s next makes transitions easier. Everything else is a distraction.” - Eric [00:56:39] - Henry shares his takeaways and the systems he wants to try, which include implementing the reminders about his systems in his calendar, and keeping an “encyclopedia” or an “owner's manual” of strategies of what he has done in the past. Eric also encourages rotating through the tools we have.
Get to know Henry here from his Linktr.ee @HankDeTank05 Other Honorable Mentions:
Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:
Don't Forget These, Too!
Direct download: 391_-_Does_a_Passion_for_Video_Games_Help_with_Henry_Holman_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:10pm CDT |
Tue, 24 August 2021
This is an episode you won’t want to miss. Listen in as Eric - and his guest, Aron Croft - talk about the coping mechanisms Aron went through before he was diagnosed, the lessons he learned from his failures, and how he rose like the pheonix from Procrastinator in Chief to developing an ADHD-friendly productivity system you can't not hear about! About Aron: Aron appeared to have it all together when he got into Harvard. But that was the beginning of his demise. He struggled non-stop for 15 years until he was broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage, failing out of his first seven jobs and businesses. But after getting a masters degree in coaching psychology and a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD, his life changed. He built a successful fortune 500 career, got married, and discovered how to get shit done with a neurodivergent brain. RIght before Eric and Aron hit record, Aron also adds another skill in pillow fort building for reducing slap-back audio in a not-perfectly-acoustic room! [00:02:26] - Eric and Aron start at the “bottom” of Aron’s story. Aron gets into Harvard and explains how he dropped out twice before graduating, hating school, being outmatched and outclassed. He lost the structure he had around him, moving from south Florida to Boston, and was sick of the pain to get things done by waiting until the last minute until fear motivated him to get things done, studying computer science. Eric affirms that activation energy can be amazing, but comes at a price. [00:05:10] - Aron talks about the ways he got through high school, building relationships with teachers that felt inauthentic, feeling like he needed to be studying subjects that had “right” answers, such as math and science. He goes into how it was easier to bounce back from dropping out of school the first time. [00:07:11] - Aron shares how he moved his life to an island off the coast of New Zealand, his plan to retire early, and what came out of these decisions he made in his early 20’s, navigating with some minor inconvenient factors he’d overlooked. Even though Aron and his then-fiance quickly discovered boredom, he doesn’t regret his decisions. [00:10:00] - Eric and Aron agree on the idea of boredom and “retirement”. Then, they discuss the “drug” of self-improvement. Then, Eric asks Aron how they got off the island. [00:11:55] - Aron teaches Eric and the listeners about “The Harvard Curse” and being heavily influenced by his environment. [00:13:32] - “It’s applying it that’s challenging for me.” - Aron [00:22:16] - Eric asks Aron about the next 15 years. Aron talks about his first job out of school and a decision he wasn’t proud of in that chapter of his life. He then talks about the other jobs he had, but repeated a pattern of letting things pile up until the last minute to get things done. Aron explains how this affected his relationship - navigating without yet being diagnosed with ADHD. After a year and some at his second job, he takes his ambitious 25-year-old-self to start a business in real-estate. Then, queue a slight tangent about their handyman skills! [00:25:41] - Aron shares a realization about being his own boss, moving to Australia, and going into sales. He then discovers a world-renowned program at the University of Sydney in Executive Coaching, seeing a Master’s Program in Coaching Psychology, changing the trajectory of his life for the better. His passion shines here, and tells the story about how a gag-gift from a friend sparked his relationship with personal development. [00:30:50] - Eric and Aron fast forward to when he moved back from Australia to Chicago and landing a new job. Receiving some feedback and realizing his position is now at risk, Aron shares his story about the measures he took to keep himself employed. Mentioned here: In the United States:
In Canada:
[00:38:14] - Eric has Aron dive into his “holy shit” moment of only having two weeks to redo his work while under probation. Aron talks about his “swiss-cheese” resume and the drastic measure (which is NOT endorsed by ADHD reWired and its team or Aron Croft). He [Aron] then realized what it meant when people told him to “just focus.” Eric also affirms the Oh-moment, while Aron explains how these actions led to scheduling an appointment to getting an ADHD diagnosis. Then, Eric and Aron share the experience when they were asked how they managed to “survive” and “get this far” before getting diagnosed. [00:42:55] - Aron not only finishes his work after getting thrown under the bus, his environment changes and starts ADHD medication, and starts crushing it - getting promoted four times in six years. Then, Eric throws Aron a tough question, as he recounts working 9 hour days in a job he didn’t love, leading to some isolation. Aron shares his realization when ADHD medication wasn’t enough and needed to see the bigger picture and using specific strategies. [00:46:17] - Eric reflects on his past successes and how he would do things differently. [00:47:50] - Aron shares the process of how he went from “Procrastinator in Chief” to developing the SMASH productivity System, his thoughts and feelings as he dug into the process while looking into his future, and what happened after his “fit of freaking out”. He talks about 30-minute productivity blocks, then mastering those principles in a 30-minute block that he could replicate. [00:50:56] - “I’m not going to outwork neurotypicals, so I need to outsmart them.” - Aron [00:51:01] - Select High-Leverage Actions [00:52:13] - Minimize Distractions [00:52:42] - Add Accountability [00:55:30] - Schedule it First! [00:56:51] - Hone Your Process [00:58:03] - Aron mentions using the Staircase Method and layering small improvements overtime. [00:58:57] - Aron & Eric share their closing thoughts… and it’s definitely worth a listen. Connect with Aron:
Honorable Mentions:
Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:
Don't Forget These, Too!
Direct download: 390_-_How_to_Recover_from_Years_of_Failure_-_with_Aron_Croft.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CDT |
Tue, 17 August 2021
If you’ve wanted to hear more about ADHD reWired Coach, Roxie Martin, then this is the show you need to listen to. In this episode, Eric and Roxie get vulnerable and dive into tackling fear, facing joy, and what it means for them to show up.
About Roxie: Roxie Martin is a certified life-coach, currently coaching her second season of ADHD reWired’s Coaching and Accountability Groups. She has 35 years of research experience in what it’s like to be an adult with ADHD, and a lifetime of hard-won wisdom to share. She has a colorful and diverse background that allows her to deeply relate and connect with almost anyone. She has been a ministry leader, a wife, a mom, a hair stylist, and a mentor. She is compassionate, encouraging, and has a finely-tuned bullshit-meter that helps cut quickly through the fluff and get right to the good stuff. [00:02:17] - Eric and Roxie go into the timeline of how she became one of the ADHD reWired Coaches. From ArC member to peer mentor, Eric wanted Roxie to become a coach for the groups.
[00:03:57] - Eric asks Roxie if she’s always innately had [her bullshit-meter] - her answer feels like an honest yes and explains why it feels weird to say it. They talk about intuition, as Eric feels like grad school beat the intuition out of [them] and learned not to trust the intuition, but has learned to listen to and amplify his intuition through coaching.
[00:05:31] - Eric talks about the vision of how things were “supposed” to go, have a laugh about how things went out-of-order, and how Roxie is coaching her second season and starting up a podcast with Will Curb called, “Wait, What was the Question?”
[00:06:40] - Eric and Roxie dive into who Roxie is, and the vulnerabilities Roxie has been exploring in her own life. Roxie goes more into “counterfeit” vulnerability through her own exploration and self-awareness. She talks about things that hadn’t changed over the years, and what she did when she was put into situations she had to be vulnerable in. Roxie goes more into what her actions used to be and verbalizes the feelings that came up for her when faced with a choice to take the easy or vulnerable way through.
[00:09:16] - Roxie answers Eric’s question about what it is she was numbing from. She talks about where she noticed it [the feelings] came up the most, such as events or parties or being in settings where she’s not comfortable - particularly social things, and where she knew she would have to have a hard conversation.
[00:10:27] - Roxie talks about what got her more curious, with Eric’s impression that she looks through a lens of curiosity. Roxie says she wishes she had a bullshit meter for herself but can feel it when she’s justifying, compromising, or playing small. She then talks about why she’s played small. She acknowledges she’s not able to change it, but is not able to ignore it. Hear more here about her beginning when she first joined ArC and talks about being dumb on purpose. She also talks about creating a safe space for the members of her groups.
[00:13:22] - Eric asks what her training has taught her about showing up in group. She says she’s learned a lot more about coaching from being part of the ArC seasons, with her classes still being valuable. She then dives into compassion being great, but you need compassion and strength in order to feel safe and secure. Roxie dives into why the strength-piece is important, talks about the ways we communicate information, and trusting the intuition and gut with the knowledge and strength.
[00:22:41] - Roxie and Eric shine a light on what Roxie has seen in her coaching sessions, what stands out for her, and what she’s learned from the members. She talks about impulse control, the excitement of witnessing growth and self-realized epiphanies, and reframing self-talk, reiterating that it’s a hard place to make progress without curiosity and compassion. Roxie also reveals some of the tips and tricks she’s learned from members.
[00:27:04] - Roxie explains more about picking up tools and how it’s helped her teach what she’s learned. Eric also talks about feeling clueless, being on time for class in grad-school, and explains why it’s important to dig into this stuff [as coaches.] He also talks about giving space as such an important skill, recognizing that Roxie does that really well.
[00:29:35] - Eric dives more into what Roxie mentioned earlier about “impulse control” and allowing members to make their own discoveries. Roxie dives into what she feels when she notices when she’s only giving advice, and how the impulse of giving advice comes from being in some kind of fear. Eric talks about the foggy mirror, as Roxie explains setting up her environment to show up mentally, emotionally, physically.
[00:32:33] - Roxie revisits Eric’s earlier question about her favorite types of people to work with. Roxie loves the diversity of folks she gets to work with, and instead shares the types of people she is most intimidated by. Then, they dive deep into the different types of vulnerability, and how different people will see vulnerability differently based on their own vulnerabilities. Roxie then verbalizes about adapting her approach to the different types of vulnerability that will come up in the coaching groups, and meeting people where they’re at. Roxie truly believes everyone has value and something to offer, and emphasizes why she works to set up the groups to be the safest place it can be.
[00:36:11] - “Vulnerability will look really similar to certain personality types.” - Roxie
[00:37:12] - “What is intuition’s […] thinking mind, and that’s curiosity.” - Eric
[00:42:57] - Roxie gets really vulnerable about how scary it is to acknowledge how much she loves what she’s doing. She dives even more into playing small, and how it was a strategy she adopted early on. She then goes in head first about joy and maintaining control around her own emotions.
[00:45:53] - The biggest obstacle for really taking [the coaching group content in] is all the bullshit in our heads. Roxie explains being curious, trusting the process, and how great things happen when we can trust the process.
[00:46:29] - “You’re not defective, there’s nothing wrong… We will be here. It’s an ongoing thing…” Roxie verbalizes what she wants for the coaching group members, and how this really is a community on the same path. Here, you really hear the joy in her voice of how much love she has for doing what she does with and in these groups.
[00:47:20] - Eric “outs” Roxie (and himself) about how “none of us” have [their] shit together, and how they set the record straight during group, as Eric reflects on his past-self compared to where he is now.
[00:49:16] - Roxie is amazed at how exciting things are on the other side of fear, and talks about the anxiety and fear from her first season when she started coaching. Then, when she was able to do it anyway, she realized the fear didn’t last and went through the whole process to where she is now, all with a growth mindset.
[00:53:07] - Go to coachingrewired.com to register for Season 26 of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups! Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:
Don't Forget These, Too!
Direct download: 389_-_Fear_Joy_and_Showing_Up_with_Coach_Roxie_Martin.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CDT |
Tue, 10 August 2021
388 | July Q&A with Brendan Mehan, Will Curb, MJ Siemens, Coach Moira Maybin, Coach Roxie Martin, & Barb
This week, we have the full panel of the ADHD reWired Podcast Family joining in for this month’s Q&A Session, recorded on July 13th 2021. Find all the good stuff below!
[00:03:56] Maria, a mom and former teacher, asks about subtypes of ADHD. She also asks about structure and looks for tools to strategize while jump-starting a teaching career online and plan better.
[00:09:24] Malika asks about menopause and how she’s observed that her symptoms have become much worse since it came on full time.
[0:14:31] Sandra asks, “How can I help my 14-year-old son become more organized for high school, and writing notes for his classes to study from for tests?”
[00:30:30] Ryan, who is in her mid-20’s, talks about struggling in the workplace with event planning and asks about a good system and starting place for planning, looking for tools on one hand and methods on the other.
[00:39:43] Kim asks about food and diet, and how they went on a whole-food plant-based vegan diet. They’ve found it has helped with their energy and ADHD symptoms, and wonders if that is the experience of others who have gone on a whole-food plan-based vegan diet.
[00:48:34] Gina is in the middle of getting assessed for ADHD and wonders about medication to bridge the gap between her strategies and her brain. She asks what it felt like if any of the panelists began taking ADHD medication as an adult. She wonders if medication may have a placebo effect or if it’s actually working.
Jaclyn asks for advice or resources for ADHD parents of ADHD toddlers, especially regarding discipline.
[01:06:08] Will closes the show with a groan-worthy dad-joke. Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:
Don't Forget These, Too!
Other Noteworthy Mentions on the Show:
Direct download: 388_-_Live_QA_-_Recorded_on_July_13th_2021.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CDT |
Tue, 3 August 2021
Give a warm welcome to the human extraordinaire who helps Eric behind-the-scenes as the executive assistant of ADHD reWired - Barb McDonagh! Not only is Barb the biggest fan of her 13-year-old son (who also has ADHD), she also got her B.A. from Columbia College in Chicago majoring in poetry, and a Masters degree in teaching from National Louis University. As of this episode, Barb has been with ADHD reWired for two years. Listen to Eric and Barb as they talk about her journey to discovering her ADHD, how curiosity led to setting healthier boundaries, and how trying something different led to a community of people who you too, just might relate to! What will you find in this episode?
Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:
Don't Forget These, Too!
Direct download: 387_-_Healthy_Curiosity_and_Self_Discovery_with_Barb_from_ADHD_reWired.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CDT |