"Make mindfulness your own, find tools, whether it's apps or books that resonate with you, and be empowered in the process." Listen as your host, Eric Tivers, and his guest Lidia Zylowska discuss the definition of mindfulness and the benefits of daily mindfulness meditation, plus much more on this episode of ADHD reWired.

Lidia is an Associate Professor at the University of Minnesota Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and a faculty member at the University of Minnesota Earl E. Bakken Center for Spirituality and Healing. She is an internationally recognized expert in adult ADHD and mindfulness-based therapies. Her research work pioneered the application of mindfulness in ADHD, developed the Mindful Awareness Practices for the ADHD program, and helped Co-Found the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.

Listen as Lidia discusses how she integrates playfulness and curiosity into her teaching, some practical strategies on meditating in a mindful way, and explaining how to do short practice meditation. Lidia also talks about the five senses' practice and how easy it is to do a mindful eating practice at lunch. Eric believes that focusing on sensory channels is a helpful framework for mindfulness, so thinking about that first cup of coffee in the morning or how you are eating your lunch can be helpful.

Lidia speaks about trauma and the connection between early trauma and the risk of ADHD. The mindful approach to trauma is trying to help the person connect to their feelings safely. She says to remember that feeling feelings will not kill you. Lidia also discusses a couple of things that can help you cope with emotional regulation when feelings come on strongly. Lidia believes that it's all about mindful playing, and there is not just one way to do it.

You'll learn:

• [02:59] Welcome to the show, Lidia!
• [05:58] Lidia shares her definition of mindfulness, which is paying attention to the present moment non-judgementally.
• [07:32] Mindfulness is an attention awareness and attitude shift.
• [09:28] How much of the work that you do teaches playfulness and curiosity?
• [12:00] Lidia discusses the fascinating things she has learned over the years while doing her research.
• [15:06] Eric shares the benefits he gets from mindfulness meditation.
• [16:13] What are more of the day-to-day practical benefits of mindfulness meditation?
• [23:30] Lidia continues sharing the benefits of mindfulness meditation.
• [28:17] Lidia says that it's not easy for you if you are not already doing it.
• [30:48] Can you give us some practical strategies on how to meditate in a mindful way?
• [32:50] Lidia explains how to do short practice meditation.
• [34:58] Lidia shares the five senses practice by doing a mindful eating practice at lunch.
• [37:49] Eric believes that focusing on sensory channels is a helpful framework for mindfulness.
• [46:56] Listen as Lidia discusses trauma and the connection between early trauma and the risk for ADHD.
• [48:40] The mindfulness approach to trauma is trying to help the person safely connect to their feelings.
• [51:42] "Feeling feelings will not kill you."
• [52:45] What are one or two things someone can do to help them cope with emotional self-regulation?
• [55:51] Ask yourself what would happen if you just sat with your feelings for a moment?
• [57:41] Eric shares one of his favorite mindfulness exercises.
• [1:01:26] Mindful playing is really what it's all about, and there is no one way to do it.
• [1:04:37] Lidia shares some final thoughts with the listeners.
• [1:05:27] Thank you so much for being on the show!
• [1:06:40] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron by clicking on our Patreon tab at www.ADHDreWired.com

Find Lidia:

• Lidia Zylowska
• Mindfulness For Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide
• The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD

“There is nothing wrong with being sensitive; being sensitive is a gift.” Listen as my guest, Diann Wingert, a former psychotherapist turned mindset and productivity coach for female entrepreneurs with ADHD traits (officially diagnosed or not) discusses her belief that people learn how to deal with ADHD continuously throughout their lives, plus much more on this episode of ADHD reWired.

Listen as Diann shares that some people get misdiagnosed as Bipolar or as having a borderline personality disorder because of extreme rejection sensitivity. Diann speaks about the two reasons she likes to call it rejection sensitivity and how rejection sensitivity intersects with ADHD and entrepreneurship.

Diann discusses how scary it is to start a new business, how being sensitive is a beautiful thing, and that you are no longer open to any constructive feedback when you don't care at all what people think. Diane also talks about extreme ownership and what it took for her to realize that she wasn't taking ownership of her life after her divorce. Eric discusses the book Extreme Ownership: How US NAVY Seals Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin and what he's learned from it.

Remember, we can do hard things, but we don't need to do them in the hardest way possible. Anytime you are doing something hard, you need to lean into it and know who you are and what you bring to the experience.

You'll learn:

• [03:18] Welcome back to the show, Diann!
• [04:19] Diann shares why she focuses on rejection sensitivity.
• [07:05] Diann believes people are figuring out ADHD continuously throughout their lives.
• [08:30] Diann shares a story about the first ADHD conference she attended.
• [10:00] Because of extreme rejection sensitivity, some people get misdiagnosed as Bipolar or borderline personality disorder.
• [10:18] Listen as Diann discusses the two reasons she likes to call it rejection sensitivity.
• [12: 38] Diann speaks about entrepreneurship and ADHD, and it intersects with rejection sensitivity.
• [14:46] Eric shares an interesting situation in his alumni community.
• [17:55] New level, new devil, we continuously evolve, and every time we hit a new level, we get a new set of issues to solve.
• [23:39] Diann discusses how scary it is to put yourself out there by starting a new business and asking for a sale.
• [26:30] Being sensitive is a beautiful thing, but it comes with a vulnerability that we need to recognize and manage.
• [30:03] Diann says that when you don't care at all what other people think, you are no longer open to anything constructive in the way of feedback.
• [33:39] What is the difference between being misunderstood versus someone rejecting you for what you think because they don't agree with it?
• [37:51] Eric shares what his wife at the time said to him when he decided to become self-employed.
• [41:52] Diann speaks about being divorced and how she was treated after her second divorce.
• [47:49] What does embracing extreme ownership mean to you?
• [51:21] Eric talks about the book Extreme Ownership.
• [52:25] Diann shares where she was when she started to understand extreme ownership.
• [57:26] Anytime we are doing something hard, we have to lean into it and know who we are and what we are bringing into the experience.
• [58:25] We can do hard things! But we don't need to do them in the hardest way possible.
• [59:48] Thank you so much for being on the show!
• [1:00:44] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron by clicking on our Patreon tab at www.ADHDreWired.com

Find Diann:

• Diann Wingert Coaching
• The Driven Woman Podcast with Diann Wingert

Listen as Eric Tivers with his guests, Brendan Mahan, Will Curb, Moira Maybin, and MJ Siemens, answer questions from the listeners in our monthly Q & A session of ADHD reWired. We are taking questions from you, the listener, about situations you want to talk through. It doesn't matter if it's personal or professional; we are here to give you our perspective and see if we can help you find some answers. 

Maria kicks us off with a question about mindset and how to go from the mindset of I'm broken too I'm different to I'm different and how can I use this to my advantage. Nicks wants to know how to navigate serious relationship troubles with a non-ADHD spouse. Jillian shares she messed up a deadline as a freelancer and now wants to apply for a job with the same company but wants to know how to position herself in the best light.

Mark is looking for some tools that will help him interrupt the distractions he has all around him. Rhonda is looking for ways to relate to her eighteen-year-old, who is fighting for independence but hasn't shown good decision-making skills to this point. She is worried that he wants to follow his girlfriend and go to college four hours away from home, but they can't afford to support him while he's gone. Listen as everyone shares their insights and suggestions to ease Rhonda's mind.

Thank you for listening to this month's Q & A session. As usual, we cover a wide range of topics, and we provide some creative takeaways no matter what stage you're in with your diagnosis. Listen in as we discuss your questions and the struggle we still have dealing with our ADHD.

Your Resources:

• ADHD Essentials Podcast with Brendan Mahan
• Hacking Your ADHD with William Curb
• ADHD Friendly Lifestyle with Moira Maybin
• ADHD Diversified with MJ Siemens 

You'll learn:

• [02:10] Welcome to the show, everyone!
• [03:21] Maria wants to know how to go from the mindset of I'm broken too I'm different to I'm different and how can I use that to my advantage?
• [06:17] Moira gives her insight to Maria and how she handled the mindset changes.
• [08:42] Brendan talks about carrying guilt and shame and how it's not as big as we often make it.
• [11:07] Eric believes that it's ok to have regret.
• [12:28] Will speaks about David and Goliath's book and how coming up with different solutions can be better than the obvious solutions.
• [14:32] Nick wants to know how to navigate serious relationship troubles with a non-ADHD spouse?
• [16:33] Eric believes you should understand what happens when your attachment system gets activated.
• [17:53] Will says you should work on things when everything is alright and schedule time for it.
• [20:05] Another listener asks, I messed up my deadline as a freelancer, and now I want to apply for a job at the same place. How do I position myself?
• [20:54] Moira talks about owning it and lets them know that multiple things were happening.
• [21:54] Will says stop guessing, talk to the people that you know at the company.
• [24:18] Jillian speaks about going to Eric's class because she isn't consistent with deadlines.
• [30:38] Mark has a question about being distracted even on his medication and is looking for tools that will interrupt those distractions.
• [32:27] Eric shares you don't want to have to try hard to stay focused from a distraction; you want to circumvent the distraction in the first place.
• [33:01] Moira speaks about what she does to circumvent distractions.
• [34:12] MJ talks about what she does to minimize distractions.
• [36:55] Will talks about nutrient-rich boredom and schedule time for distractions.
• [43:00] Rhonda wants to know how to relate to an eighteen-year-old fighting for independence but hasn't shown good decision-making skills?
• [45:48] Brendon shares what he tells the parents he works with about this topic.
• [47:12] Rhonda gives some background around her questions.
• [48:21] Eric addresses her questions about nicotine versus medication.
• [52:04] Rhonda shares her son's plan to go to school for auto mechanics.
• [54:36] Eric tells Rhonda that he hears a lot of fear in her voice for her son, but we are all going to screw up.
• [56:00] MJ wants to know if she has sat down with her son and let him tell her what he wants instead of trying to figure it out for him?
• [59:42] Rhonda says the worst part of it is that he wants to follow the girl.
• [1:00:52] Eric says that following the girl could be a really positive thing or a negative thing.
• [1:04:22] Thank you for all the questions. We will answer more next month.
• [1:05:45] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron by clicking on our Patreon tab at www.ADHDreWired.com

2 spots left: www.coachingrewired.com

Transcript:

Hey there, it’s Eric, I hope you’re having a great weekend. If you were thinking about joining our spring coaching groups, we wanted to let you know that we added a 4th section at 9 AM Pacific / 12 PM Eastern lead by Coach Roxie Martin and we still have 2 spots left.  Group starts Monday, and we will need to talk to you before you join. So if you would like to grab one of these last 2 spots for our 9 am pacific group with Coach Roxie Martin, go right now to coachingrewired.com. If we think you’re a good fit, but we don’t get a chance to talk to you before Monday, we will help you get caught up with anything you missed. Go to coachingrewired.com, click the green button, add your name to the form, and follow the instructions. That’s coaching rewired.com. 

"There is a gap between what people want and what they have in their lives; you know what they want their lives to be and what they are." Listen as your host, Eric Tivers, and his guest Brandon Tessers discuss the different ways he discusses executive function with children and adults, plus much more on this episode of ADHD reWired.

Brandon is a licensed clinical professional counselor, a professional actor, and a playwright. He's an amateur singer, songwriter, a former school teacher, tutor, a spectacular dungeon master, and an enthusiastic if sometimes not prepared husband and father. Brandon has been helping children and adults with their executive functioning for over a decade and has always been focused on working with people who exist outside the norm in one way or another. 

Listen to Brandon as he shares what his definition of executive function is and how they talk differently about it in his practice. Brandon believes that a lot of the work he does is observation and teaching the awareness piece. He also talks about how he uses his model to help people identify the approach to figure out helpful strategies.

Brandon discusses knowing the language and how you aren't able to use it if you don't know it. He talks about communication issues in relationships and how the brain prioritizes negative information first. Brandon speaks about the idea of overvaluing or undervaluing things and what happens when we miss the value or cost of doing something.

Brandon shares his definition of perfectionism, which is not being clear on when you are done doing something. He says the most important takeaway from this show today is the awareness piece and how you make the best decision you can at the moment.

You'll learn:

• [03:02] Welcome to the show, Brandon!
• [04:09] Brandon shares what they do in his practice.
• [06:59] The gap between having an idea of what you want to do or intend to do and then actually doing it is an executive function.
• [08:09] Brandon says that they talk about executive function differently than most people.
• [10:40] Brandon speaks about how a lot of the work he does is observation.
• [12:39] We can't deliberately decide what to be aware of.  
• [15:42] Attention to Brandon is kind of like a bandwidth, which works into awareness.
• [18:06] Brandon says the analysis is great when it helps.
• [24:17] Eric talks about using the live transcript when he has zoom meetings.
• [26:06] How do you use your model to help people identify the approach to figuring out helpful strategies?
• [30:09] Brandon discusses having precise language to process and retrieve information. You have to know the language to be able to use it.
• [32:47] Brandon speaks about the words he's made up.
• [34:53] Listen as Brandon talks about communication issues in relationships and what we are dealing with, and what he does to communicate with clients.
• [36:44] Eric speaks about a book he's listening to on non-violent communication.
• [39:30] Brandon believes that the brain prioritizes negative information.
• [41:27] Brandon discusses the idea of overvaluing or undervaluing things based on the decisions we make.
• [48:03] What happens when we miss the value or cost of doing something?
• [50:12] Brandon defines perfectionism as not being clear on when you are done.
• [51:52] Eric says he doesn't want to teach people to be better at planning. He wants to help people plan better things.
• [54:58] Brandon says you have to be able to notice smaller distinctions to build on something.
• [55:24] Brandon wants the listeners to take away is to understand the awareness piece.
• [57:20] At the moment, you make the best decision you can make, and later, you make another one.
• [57:58] Thank you so much for being on the show!
• [58:44] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron by clicking on our Patreon tab at www.ADHDreWired.com

Find Brandon:

Effective Artistry