This episode is part of a four-episode series of mastermind session.  A mastermind group is a concept that comes from the book, Think and Grow Rich.  We have implemented this concept into our ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. Alumni of our coaching groups have the opportunity to work with me as “addmins,” and those members get an entire hour to sit in the hot seat in our mastermind sessions.

This week, Sandra sits in the hot seat.  She explores a topic that a lot of us struggle with and we haven’t really discussed on the podcast.  Sandra feels that she struggles with communication and what she calls “verbal regulation.” In this conversation, you will hear us discuss the issues surrounding communication, and the participants share their experiences and the techniques they employ.

You’ll Learn:

• [10:21] - Diana was in the hot seat on our last episode, and she committed to scheduling a sleep study.  She shares her progress.
• [12:44] - Sandra lays the foundation for this discussion.  She would like to talk about what she is calling “verbal regulation.”  
• [17:06] - Sandra says that neuro-typical people tend to make comments to her on this topic.  
• [19:04] - Dan asks Sandra about her structure creation skills.  She shares a story about someone comparing her work as something similar to the movie “A Beautiful Mind.”
• [23:52] - Dan asks a clarifying question about her reactions to compliments.
• [24:46] - Natalie shares that she had similar situations.  She asks about Sandra’s processing characteristics.
• [29:02] - Sandra talks about trying to communicate to her co-workers how her brain works without it sounding like an excuse.
• [30:18] - Diana asks in what types of situations this becomes an issue, and she shares her experience in this area.
• [34:18] - Diana suggests beta-blockers or alpha-blockers.  
• [36:20] - Natalie suggests that Sandra talks to her friends about their perceptions of her.
• [38:28] - We talk about fidgets and the advantage of having a more obvious fidget.
• [40:23] - We put Sandra’s negative self-talk on trial through role-playing.  
• [47:19] - I talk with Susan about processing speed and the role it plays in things like communication.
• [55:05] - Natalie shares that she’s also a slow processor and intelligent person, and she talks about things she does in conversations to help this communication.  
• [59:22] - Dan explains how he builds trust with people by preparing them for his communication style. He also suggests practicing conversation.
• [1:01:11] - Sandra finds practicing conversation to be difficult because of other ADHD tendencies. Dan shares how he accomplishes this.
• [1:03:57] - Sandra talks about a recent course she took on self-observation and self-coaching.  She says that a lot of feedback she got in this discussion reinforces what she learned from that.
• [1:06:10] - I talk about acceptance being a gift to ourselves and other people.  I also share how slowing my speech has helped me.
• [1:10:41] - Natalie reminds us that we need to start small.  
• [1:13:36] - Sandra shares what she would like to learn and improve in the near-future.

Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles:

http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired

ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group

Our next registration event for the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group is November 15th at 11am Central.  This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to http://CoachingreWired.com.  

Support the podcast on Patreon

Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me.  With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks.  One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall. Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired

ADHD reWired Facebook Group:

If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to EricTivers.com/community and fill out an application.

Productivity Q&A

Get your ADHD questions answered live!  These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30 pm.  Go to http://erictivers.com/events.

Want to be a guest?

Hey, What about you?  Do you have a story? Are you a Coach?  Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here.

This episode is part of a four-episode series of mastermind session.  A mastermind group is a concept that comes from the book, Think and Grow Rich.  We have implemented this concept into our ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups. Alumni of our coaching groups have the opportunity to work with me as “addmins,” and those members get an entire hour to sit in the hot seat in our mastermind sessions.

This week, Diana will sit in the hot seat, and we are joined by Natalie, Dan, and Sandra.  The morning routine on non-urgent days is what has Diana hung up right now. Throughout this conversation, you will hear us offer suggestions, tips, techniques, and strategies to help her make these mornings productive.  If you find it difficult to get started in the mornings, you should have plenty of things to try after listening to this episode.

You’ll Learn:

• [11:02] - The members of this mastermind introduce themselves, including Diana who is sitting in the hot seat this week.
• [13:57] - Diana shares that she’s been struggling with her morning routine on non-urgent days.
• [15:30] - Diana talks about the things she’s implemented to try to create some consistency.  
• [21:05] - Dan asks if Diana has experienced insomnia and what may have caused that lack of sleep.  This leads to a discussion on sleep.
• [27:02] - Sandra asks about Diana’s medication.  
• [29:55] - Sandra suggests Diana recall the last time she had a non-urgent morning and it didn’t work out the way she wanted.  
• [33:16] - I ask Sandra if she’s ok with choosing comfort over courage.
• [34:47] - Dan shares that when he thinks about data and analyzing what’s working and not working, his mind gets stirred up.  Diana talks about what the pebbles are. These are the small things that seem to trip her up.
• [37:19] - Natalie shares that this conversation is speaking to her because she shares some of these issues.  She finds herself wasting entire mornings by hitting the snooze button. The Fabulous app is something that has helped her.
• [40:00] - We discuss the individual steps that could help with her morning routine.
• [43:38] - Natalie says that the inside of her refrigerator makes for a good dry erase board.
• [47:26] - I suggest the app, Wake and Shake Alarm and the clocks Clocky and Tocky. I also talk about the Pavlok, which I don’t wholly endorse.
• [54:30] - Dan asks, “What’s important to you?” when trying to find the motivation to get up and get the day going.  He also suggests finding the areas where other people are depending on her.
• [57:09] - Natalie explains how she has benefitted from this conversation and the strategies she is going to implement to help her with these areas where she is having trouble.
• [58:30] - I explain why sleep hygiene is more important than the number of hours of sleep.
• [1:02:54] - Sandra shares that this discussion reminds her a lot of her own mastermind.  She shares some advice I gave her in that mastermind.
• [1:08:09] - We talk about using music to motivate in the morning.
• [1:09:12] - Dan suggests that Diana’s husband helps get her going in the morning.  
• [1:13:13] - We talk about vitamins, specifically Vitamin B.
• [1:14:52] - Diana has resisted undergoing a sleep study.  We convince her to make an appointment for a sleep study.
• [1:16:57] - I suggest morning errands and exercise classes to help Dianna get moving in the mornings.
• [1:20:28] - Diana shares what she would like to commit to.

Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles:

http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired

ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group

If you’d like to secure an early spot and an early registration price for our winter session of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group, RSVP for our registration event on October 25th at 3 pm Central.  This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to http://CoachingreWired.com.  

Support the podcast on Patreon

Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me.  With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks.  One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall. Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired

ADHD reWired Facebook Group:

If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to EricTivers.com/community and fill out an application.

Productivity Q&A

Get your ADHD questions answered live!  These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30 pm.  Go to http://erictivers.com/events.

Want to be a guest?

Hey, What about you?  Do you have a story? Are you a Coach?  Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here.

Do you say that you “are ADHD” or say that you “have ADHD?”  Through people-first language, we show that people are more than their diagnosis.  However, over time, I’ve come to appreciate how nuanced language is, and how important it is to let people express their identity.  Living with ADHD is a story.  As we change, so does our relationship with ADHD.   

One way I’ve helped people capture their relationship with ADHD is an exercise I’ve been doing with my coaching groups.  I call this exercise, “Dear ADHD.”  I encourage members to write letters to their ADHD.  Since this is ADHD Awareness Month, I invited members of our alumni membership community to write another letter to their ADHD.  What you will hear on this episode is some of those members reading their “Dear ADHD” letters. 

Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles: 

http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired 

ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group 

If you’d like to secure an early spot and an early registration price for our winter session of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group, RSVP for our registration event on October 25th at 3 pm Central.  This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to http://CoachingreWired.com.   

Support the podcast on Patreon 

Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me.  With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks.  One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall.  Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired 

ADHD reWired Facebook Group: 

If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to EricTivers.com/community and fill out an application. 

Productivity Q&A 

Get your ADHD questions answered live!  These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30 pm.  Go to http://erictivers.com/events. 

Want to be a guest? 

Hey, What about you?  Do you have a story?  Are you a Coach?  Are you an ADHD Clinician?  If you answered “yes” to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here. 

This episode is the recording of September’s live Q&A.  The questions answered in this episode were submitted by listeners of this podcast, both ahead of time and live.  Brendan Mahan once again joins me on this Q&A. This month, our conversation keeps looping back around to play and planning.  

You can listen to our live Q&A sessions on the second Tuesday of every month at 1:30 pm Eastern.  Join Brendan Mahan and me as we answer your questions live. You can register at http://ADHDreWired.com/events.  

Connect with Brendan Mahan

ADHD Essentials Podcast

You’ll Learn:

• [08:48] - Erica asks about planning fun.  We talk about the struggles of prioritizing, initiating, and planning.
• [18:10] - Marisol asks how to stay in motion when there’s nothing to react to.  This continues our conversation on planning. Brendan shares how he uses motion to get back on track.
• [24:47] - Marisol sat in the hot seat in May and talked about diet and exercise.  She gives us an update on her progress.
• [26:45] - Gerald asks if we have any rules to help us be productive.  We share some of our “guiding principles” to stay on track throughout the day.
• [32:45] - We talk about trying to diligent about phone usage, specifically between the hours of 9 pm and 9 am.   
• [36:50] - I share how staying up too late will impact my ability to function with my family.  “It’s about what I want most vs. what I want now.” This leads to a discussion on parenting.
• [45:35] - Dianna asks Brendan and me what podcasts we enjoy.
• [52:16] - AJ asks for strategies for making phone calls.  
• [57:09] - Alyssa wonders how to make yourself do something that seems unbearably boring.   We share our own experiences and share what does and doesn’t work for us.

Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles:

http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired

ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group

If you’d like to secure an early spot and an early registration price for our winter session of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group, RSVP for our registration event on October 25th at 3 pm Central.  This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to http://CoachingreWired.com.  

Support the podcast on Patreon

Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me.  With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks.  One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall. Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired

ADHD reWired Facebook Group:

If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to EricTivers.com/community and fill out an application.

Productivity Q&A

Get your ADHD questions answered live!  These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30 pm.  Go to http://erictivers.com/events.

Want to be a guest?

Hey! What about you?  Do you have a story? Are you a Coach?  Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here.

I have two guests joining me in the studio for this episode.  Alex is a proud husband of eight years and is a father to two children.  He teaches special education at the middle school level. His daily practice of mindfulness and meditation has had a profound effect on his life. His ADHD witness story comes into focus in 2008.  The most recent stage of his ADHD journey began with the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group. Alison joins Alex (her husband) on this episode. They have known each other since 2008, and she is a mental health nurse.

In this conversation, you will hear Alex and Alison share how they have navigated the obstacle course that is a marriage or relationship with one person who has ADHD and one person who does not.  Alex and Alison discuss their challenges and explain how they resolve conflict.

Connect with Alex:

Email: aganderson1@gmail.com

You’ll Learn:

• [09:45] - Alex shares how the two met.  He explains why he saw her as mysterious.
• [12:30] - Alison talks about the impact diagnosis, and medication had on their conversations.
• [13:46] - Alison was once brought to tears by Alex having a spotlessly clean living area.
• [16:06] - We talk about our memories from before we started medication.
• [22:30] - Alison talks about one of their challenges with parenting. Alex describes his feelings when he’s frustrated with his son, who displays some ADHD characteristics.
• [26:12] - Alison shares how she allows Alex space in some of these difficult situations.
• [27:47] - Alex struggles with sharing what is happening in his brain.
• [30:06] - When Alex’s ADHD is winning, Alison takes his reactions personally.
• [31:55] - I share that non-ADHD spouses can understand ADHD by listening to these conversations.
• [33:11] - Alex explains how they engage in constructive problem-solving.
• [37:38] - Alex considers himself lucky to have someone like Allison, who understands his situation.
• [39:17] - Alison says that she’s needed to explain Alex’s characteristics with her family.
• [41:10] - We talk about the dance between accommodating and enabling.
• [50:54] - Alex talks about why he made the decision to join the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group.  Alison chimes in with developments she’s seen.
• [55:22] - The two talk about changes they’ve seen since Alex joined the group.
• [59:20] - Alison shares what she has learned about ADHD since meeting Alex.
• [1:02:30] - We talk about the long-term aspect of marriage, which involves things like apologizing, and the process of resolving conflict.
• [1:11:24] - Alex shares his experience with mindfulness.

Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles:

http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired

ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group

Our fall season of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group will begin on September 24th, and the group is now full.  If you’d like to secure an early spot and an early registration price for our winter session of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group, RSVP for our registration event on October 4th at 2pm Central.  This session starts January 7th. To learn more or RSVP for the group registration, go to http://CoachingreWired.com.  

Support the podcast on Patreon

Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me.  With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks.  One perk example is our Patreon-only Adult Study Hall. Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired

ADHD reWired Facebook Group:

If you would like to join the ADHD reWired secret Facebook group, go to EricTivers.com/community and fill out an application.

Productivity Q&A

Get your ADHD questions answered live!  These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30pm.  Go to http://erictivers.com/events.

Want to be a guest?

Hey! What about you?  Do you have a story? Are you a Coach?  Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you’d like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here.