ADHD reWired

Planning a vacation is hard. It's even harder when you have ADHD!

Listen in as your host, Eric Tivers, and his guest - fellow podcaster and ADHD reWired Coach - Moira Maybin of The ADHD Friendly Lifestyle brainstorm some of the ways you can plan an ADHD-Friendly vacation in an ADHD-Friendly way.


About Moira:

Moira Maybin has spent 25 years as an educator, working in classrooms, in special education and, as a learning assistance teacher with an educational psychology background. She lived through years of overwhelm and failed attempts at trying harder that compromised her self-care, physical, and mental health until finally receiving her ADHD Diagnosis.

After experiencing a terrifying fall off a 50-foot cliff in 2018 that left her with serious injuries, she knew she had to commit to creating an ADHD Friendly Lifestyle and give up on trying harder if she really wanted to thrive. She’s since re-shaped her life completely for a better fit, based on current research. Moira has dedicated the last 5 years of her life to diving in deep to learn as much as she can about ADHD and its impact on women.

Now she’s opening up about what it’s like being a woman with late-diagnosed ADHD and a mom of two children, sharing the knowledge she’s gained on her own personal journey, and as an educator and advocate for people with ADHD.


What will you find in this episode?

[00:02:05] - Eric & Moira talk about why this was a second attempt at recording an episode together

[00:02:35] - Eric & Moira recognize when it's time to take the "exit ramp"

[00:03:00] - Eric talks about struggling planning a vacation; Moira talks about her own experiences of not being able to relax at home, and how going away was the only way to decompress.

[00:03:45] - One of the challenges for Eric is figuring out when to take a vacation. He talks about being stuck on a 7-year merry-go-round wondering when the right time will be.

[00:04:19] - Moira shares her own experience when she got into teaching but didn't end up actually going anywhere during the summers.

[00:04:35] - Moira asks Eric if he's spent some time wondering and dreaming as he talks about a Phish concert he's been waitlisted for.

[00:06:05] - Moira acknowledges how Eric describes most of the things she does in advance of a trip, and how having a narrow focus is not so overwhelming.

[00:06:30] - Moira says he might need another vacation after Eric's big trip, and why.

[00:07:35] - Moira talks about "training" to figure out what to take and what not to take during trips and shows.

[00:08:00] - Moira mentions making packing lists for herself and her family and doesn't try to think up anything on her own; using lists as a frame of reference and other resources to help save executive functions are extremely helpful.

[00:08:40] - Eric jumps in and mentions travelfashiongirl.com and ricksteves.com

[00:10:00] - Eric has a big question: What happens if a spot (for the Phish concert) doesn't open up? Moira shares her thoughts, what to watch for with airlines and tickets, how travelling on points is easier to change, and having a back-up plan.

[00:12:00] - Moira asks Eric what else he likes to do and if going for an event or going for something completely different is part of a vacation for him.

[00:12:47] - Eric thinks an all-inclusive resort sounds amazing because you don't have to plan much and likes the idea of going somewhere warm and sunny.

[00:13:33] - Eric and Moira talk about how you can find others who have done some of the research and work already because they've already been there.

[00:14:10] - One of the things that has helped Moira the most is going somewhere more than once.

[00:14:26] - Mentioned here → https://www.additudemag.com/great-escapes/

[00:15:00] - Moira talk about time shares and points to limit the systems she has to navigate when planning a vacation, while Eric asks her about "glamp"-ing

[00:16:33] - Eric says he needs to make vacations a part of his life as Moira talks about why she needs to make vacations a part of her life, and how it's evolved with growing kids.

[00:18:33] - Eric and Moira say there just isn't really a good time (to vacation), so we need to make time to do it.

[00:23:37] - Eric asks about other ways to have a more ADHD-friendly vacation

[00:24:38] - Eric and Moira talk about guided tours, cupcakes, bike rentals, and routines

[00:25:38] - Moira and Eric share some thoughts about Disney World

[00:26:16] - Moira recommends to piggy-back off of folks who have the experiences and get the information from them to help narrow the scope of your research

[00:26:52] - Eric and Moira talk about dietary and food sensitivities and ways to work with and around them

[00:28:14] - Moira recommends travelling where you can have a kitchen, find places that do breakfast, and to hit-up a Costco!

[00:30:20] - Eric asks Moira how far she plans in advance

[00:30:34] - Eric and Moira talk about how time-shares actually work

[00:31:59] - Eric calls out all the listeners who have planned vacations to share their ADHD-friendly tips!

[00:32:29] - Eric and Moira talk about planning recovery days after a vacation, having a vacation within a vacation, and why it's important

[00:33:12] - Costco car-rental, anyone?

[00:33:55] - Start with these two things: When and What.

[00:35:04] - Eric and Moira talk about other all-inclusive resorts and other features of vacationing in different places.

[00:37:26] - Eric confirms a theme of narrowing the focus.

[00:38:26] - Eric and Moira talk about cruises

[00:39:36] - Moira talks about Googling slow-travel

[00:40:08] - Canada is pretty cool, too ;)

[00:41:06] - Moira just might host a vacation-planning session in the Adult Study Hall Community!

[00:42:09] - Eric checks if he's still on the waitlist....

Visit Moira's website at theadhdfriendlylifestyle.com and get a chance to join her section of group coaching in the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups by heading over to coachingrewired.com!


What Else is Mentioned?

Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:

Don't Forget These, Too!

  • coachingrewired.com — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups
  • adultstudyhall.com — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space!
  • adhdrewired.com/patreon — Support the show by becoming a Patron!
  • adhdrewired.com/events — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

Random fact: Did you know that citric acid can not only be derived from cane sugar or wheat, but can also be derived from corn? If you have a corn sensitivity, it might be a good idea to avoid citric acid as an ingredient, if you can!


Listen as your host Eric Tivers and his guest Roland Tanner talk about how he procrastinated his way to success on ADHD reWired.

Roland Tanner has procrastinated his way through careers as a book seller, Medieval historian, author, publisher, software developer, podcaster, and would-be politician.

He has sometimes been accused of being an entrepreneur! After a decade of battling depression, he scored top marks on an online ADHD test and was formally diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50.

What will you find in this episode?

[00:01:29] - Eric introduces Roland as he procrastinated his way through careers as a book seller, Medieval historian, author, publisher, software developer, podcaster, and would-be politician & has been accused of being an entrepreneur.

[00:02:00] - Hear Roland's voice!

[00:02:13] - Eric brings to light how Roland feels that what he has to share doesn't have much value

[00:02:33] - Roland talks about having an unplanned career. He explains his life with ADHD is an "interesting" example and that his career paths have certain been varied.

[00:03:00] - Eric and Roland talk about how Roland wanted to be a politician, motivated by wanting an assistant to take care of his calendar & email, before he had any inkling of ADHD

[00:03:40] - Roland talks about the executive functions of running his own business

[00:04:03] - Roland really enjoys talking about politics & talks about his involvement and saw how others had their "executive function" minds externalized and handed to other people so they could concentrate on the conversations and people in front of them

[00:05:10] - Roland says it didn't work out, but it was a fun process

[00:05:13] - Eric asks how close the political race was

[00:05:30] - Roland talks about the way the local politics work in Canada

[00:05:41] - Roland explains the jobs and roles he played in running for local office

[00:05:44] - He also talks about being a fairly shy guy and being described as introverted

[00:06:01] - Roland observed that people liked talking politics

[00:06:15] - Roland talks about being unsure if the job would have been very good for him because of the stress, but the "retail sales" part of it was a blast for him.

[00:06:30] - The Dam Busters Story comes up

[00:07:16] - Eric asks Roland about "Procrastinating the way to success"

[00:07:40] - Eric asks what Roland was behind on when he scheduled this podcast interview

[00:07:43] - Roland talks about debugging client websites & talks about his publishing company

[00:08:00 - He talks about how he was supposed to be translating Medieval Latin documents but learned how to write code instead, which turned into an added job

[00:08:32] - Roland talks about the challenges and being in a constant state of distraction

[00:08:50] - Roland touches briefly about being a musician, what he thought about fidget spinners before he knew about his ADHD, and how learning guitar was his own way of fidgeting

[00:09:45] - Roland uses playing instruments as his own equivalent of meditation

[00:10:10] - Roland talks a bit about his experiences in the UK and taking A-Levels and how he'd play guitar instead of revise his notes

[00:10:50] - Roland talks about his podcast for the "905" Telephone Code

[00:11:20] - Roland brings up how the area is growing exponentially, how his area was portrayed, and how it's now one of the most ethnically diverse areas in Canada

[00:12:08] - Roland brings up some of the issues in Canada surrounding the First Nations and Indigenous community with the discoveries of the graves and bodies being uncovered around residential schools

[00:12:30] - Roland talks about working with First Nations involved with the Sixties Scoop

[00:12:44] - He feels, even in a limited way, happy to be contributing to more knowledge of where (he) lives sharing the knowledge of First Nations & Indigenous issues in Canada

[00:13:07] - He's relieved that there's something of an awakening of what's actually happened and what is still happening [in Canada]

[00:13:33 - Eric asks Roland about going in deep into what he becomes interested in, and how that's gotten Roland into a bit of trouble at times

[00:13:45] - Roland talks about being an "Accidental" entrepreneur and talks about not being very business-minded or driven like other people

[00:13:58] - He also talks about how running your own business is tough

[00:14:38] - Roland talks about the "boredom threshold" not being enough

[00:20:50] - Before the break, Eric asks Roland about being a part of writing parts of speeches for the Queen (of England)

[00:21:28] - Roland talks about his first career after the bookselling was a PhD in in Medieval history and talks about studying the Parliament of Scotland

[00:22:44] - Roland brings up the speechwriting and how these experiences look good in a resume

[00:23:15] - Eric asks what he's learned from all of these experiences

[00:23:25] - Roland talks about the most frustrating part of the rules involved with these particular speechwriting opportunities

[00:24:04] - Roland talks about his time at St. Andrews and the rules his friends had to follow

[00:24:30] - Eric and Roland talk about age, not knowing about ADHD until later, growing up, and how Roland didn't do so hot in school

[00:25:05] - Roland talks about the 1970's and how he was fortunate to have parents that didn't believe the negative things his teaches had commented about him

[00:25:33] - Roland talks about being "spectacularly bad" at the teaching methods that didn't suit him but still ended up with a PhD.

[00:26:13] - The subjects Roland was interested in were more like procrastination and fun, but other subjects felt like more work

[00:26:44] - Roland and Eric bring up dyscalculia

[00:27:15] - Eric talks about how people with ADHD don't have the luxury of doing "work that just pays the bills" and how we have to be interested in what we're doing

[00:27:28] - Eric speaks to how interest drives dopamine and feeds the executive functions

[00:27:51] - Roland also talks about how if he's really interested in a topic, he can't stop working on it, like staying up too late working on a task

[00:28:19] - Roland talks about how staying up too late is self-destructive behavior

[00:28:28] - Roland acknowledges that ADHD is still new to him, talks about getting formally diagnosed, recalls the first time he spoke with others who also have ADHD, and his moments of discovery

[00:29:15] - Roland talks about how he got introduced to someone with ADHD and getting help with homework

[00:29:35] - The thing that stood out to Roland was how a group of people talked similarly to how he does

[00:30:03] - Roland brings up having an absent-minded professor thing his whole life even though he's not a professor

[00:30:16] - Roland talks about some of the incredible things he's done because of a bad memory, and how moments of recognition can be powerful

[00:30:56] - Eric acknowledges the reactions fellow ADHD brains get when they tell each other their ADHD stories

[00:30:19] - Roland tells a story of one of his absent-minded moments with his at-the-time future wife

[00:32:03] - Eric asks Roland if the ADHD diagnosis brings things into perspective as Roland acknowledges but still finds himself, through force-of-habit, having negative self-talk and what helps

[00:32:41] - Roland brings up the first-time-wearing-glasses analogy

[00:33:15] - Roland talks about tidying a drawer being a wonderful (and relatable) achievement

[00:33:39] - Eric and Roland talk about the things that feel like big wins

[00:39:05] - Eric asks Roland what he's been doing to address some of the negative self-talk

[00:39:15] - Roland acknowledges that it's still a big challenge as a very transitional time in his life

[00:39:34] - Roland uses the analogy of wearing "grooves into your mind" by saying something enough times, including using self-deprecation as a defense mechanism

[00:40:04] - Roland feels lacking a sense of humor without it

[00:40:15] - Roland is learning how to feel good about being confident vs. embarrassed about being confident

[00:40:30] - He talks about how habits are difficult to change

[00:41:13] - Roland finds it challenging to change even the smallest things

[00:41:29] - Eric gives Roland a challenge

[00:41:56] - Eric goes in depth about how, no matter someone's age, making positive changes IS possible

[00:43:20] - Eric talks about accepting "what is"

[00:43:30] - Eric talks about our itty-bitty shitty committee

[00:44:38] - Eric acknowledges that with ADHD, "we want progress yesterday."

[00:45:35] - Eric brings up how our brains and bodies want homeostasis

[00:46:14] - Eric encourages Roland to keep connecting with the ADHD community

[00:46:24] - Roland continues to learn and says the experiences are huge.

[00:47:32] - Roland explains his next schemes for "world domination"

[00:47:47] - Eric and Roland talk about history, repeating history, and making new mistakes after we've learned from history

[00:48:46] - Roland shares his final thoughts

Also mentioned in this episode:

https://indigenousfoundations.arts.ubc.ca/sixties_scoop/

https://coachingrewired.com

https://adultstudyhall.com

https://905er.ca/

https://tannerritchie.com

Direct download: 385_Roland_Tanner_Done.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CST

In this episode, Eric Tivers is joined by Will Curb, MJ Siemens, and ADHD reWired coaches Moira Maybin & Roxie Martin. Barb also joins the panel as the ADHD reWired podcast family takes in and answers the questions from the listeners of the ADHD reWired Podcast. Brendan Mehan, we missed you this month! Every second Tuesday of the month, the ADHD reWired panel takes questions from our listeners live about their ADHD-related topics. Whether it’s personal or professional, the panelists are here every single month to ask questions and offer their knowledge and unique perspectives to help ADHD folks find the solutions they need. 

Thank you for listening to the Q & A session this month. We cover a wide variety of topics and provide creative takeaways, no matter what stage you're in with your diagnosis. Listen in as we discuss your questions and the struggle we all continue working through as we navigate with ADHD.

Find the other podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:

 

What will you find in this episode?

[00:01:43] - Welcomin the ADHD reWired Podcast Family! 

[00:02:10] - Roxie and Will confirm rumors about their new podcast

[00:03:21] - Jane asks, “What can you do when you just cannot get your brain to engage, even if you want to? 

[00:03:34] - Eric explains how trying to force it doesn’t work; he shifts to prioritizing sleep, and his brain doesn’t (typically) work with lack of sleep. 

[00:04:27] - Will says going for a walk and getting movement in is helpful.

[00:05:05] - Eric talks about how even though taking breaks is difficult, he always feels better after doing so.

[00:05:38] - Moira talks about hormones and how expectations can be managed around hormonal cycles, while Eric mentions her podcast [the ADHD Friendly Lifestyle!]

[00:06:37] - Roxie talks about riding on someone’s coattails, listens to ADHD-related podcasts & content, and enjoys singing karaoke for a break.

[00:07:22] - Eric mentions Adult Study Hall and how a pomodoro dance break was really useful and fun!

[00:07:52] - When MJ feels stuck, they talk about reaching out and telling someone, talking with their partner for a break, doing jumping jacks, and taking a pet-parent break. 

[00:08:53] - Will encourages ADHD folks to write down things that don’t work and mentions how scrolling social media doesn’t typically work. 

[00:09:18] - Eric likes video games but doesn’t usually stop at just 5 minutes of playing. 

[00:10:03] - Scott asks about being on Adderall and wonders if his experiences are because of taking medication. 

[00:10:27] - Eric encourages folks to talk to their doctors and the documented side-effects of stimulant medication. 

[00:15:50] - Terry wants the panelists to talk about medications, particularly when kids are reluctant and contrary to medical advice.

[00: 16:15] - Eric talks about how the research shows that when parents push medication during adolescence, the likelihood of the teens going back to medication as adults is drastically decreased. Eric encourages to allow the teen to make the call, which makes it more likely for them to go back to the medication as adults. 

[00:17:04] - Eric also encourages parents to read about motivational interviewing.

[00:17:56] - Moira encourages parents to include the kids as part of the conversation. 

[00:20:10] - Eric encourages a healthy-fat high-protein breakfast before giving them their medication and let kids eat when they’re hungry. 

[00:21:07] - Andrew wants to improve his communication skills and wonders if CBT or other methods could be helpful.

[00:21:36] - Eric says CBT or DBT could be helpful. 

[00:22:06] - Mentioned: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny and Kerry Patterson 

[00:23:15] - Will talks about trying different communication models, such as a phone call or text to give the brain time to catch up.

[00:24:13] - Eric says to take a break but 23] commit to coming back. 

[00:25:00] - Roxie realizes trying to get into problem solving before we’re ready that we have such a huge breakdown.

[00:25:10] - Mentioned: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams

[00:25:25] - Kristen asks, “How do I lessen my interrupting in group discussions?”

[00:25:36] - Moira talks about hyperarousal and treatments that helped her

[00:26:03] - Eric and Moira encourage writing stuff down; Eric talks about some coping mechanisms and sitting in the discomfort of silence. 

[00:27:00] - Will talks about cultural conversational styles across the U.S. 

[00:27:37] - Suzanne asks about how to respond or having a set of pre-fabricated responses when people make comments about over-planning and other ADHD-related topics, while keeping composed.

[00:28:20] - Eric thinks it’s cute when someone says, “You’ll remember that.” 

[00:28:42] - MJ admits to being a chronic over-planner and talks about coping mechanisms they’ve developed with having ADHD.

[00:30:23] - MJ encourages being okay with what we do and to give ourselves grace, and “Slow motion is better than no motion!

[00:31:47] - Suzanne also asks if a lot of this is internal dialogue and talks about everything she writes down after grocery shopping. 

[00:32:36] - Eric says, “Do what works for you!”

[00:32:48] - Moira talks about being selective with sharing about her ADHD and driving with a GPS is always useful for her.

[00:34:20] - Hannah asks about international support for people with ADHD.

[00:41:10] - Mentioned: adhd-hub.com / adhdactually.com (not reviewed)

[00:41:34] - Elaine asks about “transition dread”

[00:42:48] - Roxie asks Elaine some coaching questions 

[00:45:08] - Elaine talks about food sensitivities 

[00:45:45] - MJ also asks Elaine some coaching questions and talks about doing new tasks.

[00:47:06] - Elaine is reminded of fun things & wonders about doing brand new tasks. 

[00:47:32] - Eric asks Elaine if there is anything she can let go of and talks about “CRS”

[00:48:15] - Eric and Elaine talk about admin work while being self-employed and being seen.

[00:48:57] - Eric stresses that it is important that you feel seen and understood by the professionals you are working with and to get people who understand you on your team.

[00:49:46] - Eric says he will always need help, and needing help is okay.

[00:50:38] - Rob asks if neurotypical folks have the same problems or issues that folks with ADHD have. 

[00:52:17] - Eric mentions that we may not be fully aware that we do some things better than other people because those things don’t feel hard.

[00:53:17] - Eric talks about the struggle of putting something in the mail.

[00:53:58] - Moira acknowledges that neurotypical people have the same struggles, but that ADHD also affects us socially, at home, and affects our working memory. 

[00:54:58] - MJ shares their observations about how certain tasks seem much easier for neurotypical folks than ADHD folks.  

[00:56:05] - Grace asks if coaching would be useful even with a brand-new diagnosis and still earned a PhD

[00:56:30] - Eric talks about coping skills, intelligence, and gives kudos for resilience and tenacity.

[00:56:58] - All the panelists vote “Yes” to group-coaching for ADHD, no matter what stage or how recent the diagnosis was. 

[00:57:58] - Jason asks how to go about getting a diagnosis in Canada.

[00:58:23] - MJ highly encourages folks to find professionals who specialize in ADHD and why that’s important.

[00:59:28] - Moira mentions CADDRA and CADDAC who list practitioners in Canada, and the importance of knowing what symptoms to talk about. 

[01:00:56] - Eric encourages folks to get on a list to see someone even if it’s a long wait. 

[01:02:41] - The panelists circle back to Terry’s question about keeping kids accountable without nagging them.

[01:03:15] - Barb talks about dry-erase boards and letting her son check things off instead of nagging.

[01:03:45] - Eric repeats motivational interviewing - it’s a great place to start, and says there is no such thing as failing when we’re trying new things. 

 

Also mentioned in this episode:

Direct download: 384_-_Live_QA_Final.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am CST

If this is the first time you’ve ever listened to this podcast, today’s episode features a different type of interview than Eric usually has on the show. If you have kids, this is a great one to get them to listen to (or listen to with them) as well.

For long-time listeners, you’ve heard Eric mention his son on the podcast before. Well, guess what? His son is here today as dad’s very special guest! Listen as your host Eric Tivers and his son discuss his perspective on having ADHD (among other things) and its effect on him during this endearing and humor-filled episode of ADHD reWired.

Eric’s son is not just his favorite child interviewee on the podcast; he’s also the first child to be interviewed on the show. Eric asks his 9-year-old questions like: What does it feel like afterward when you do something, and you’re not sure why you did it? When is he likely to get distracted? As someone with both autism and ADHD, is he a big picture or small details kind of kid? Have other kids called him names at school? How does he view his giftedness, and how does it feel when something doesn’t come easily to him? What does he want to say to kids like him listening to the show?

In this episode, you’ll also hear them talk about a tendency towards impulsiveness, a love for reading and math (including the Fibonacci sequence even at a mere six years old), and the different ADHD traits his son possesses. The 9-year-old even gets to take over the position of podcast host, interview his dad, and humorously offer his own tips towards the end of the show. 

Get ready for spontaneous special effects, singing, sidetracking, and then some. ADHD adults and their ADHD kids will get a kick out of sharing this listening experience together!

You'll learn:

  • [01:52] Eric’s son says hello!
  • [02:59] Listen to an explanation of neurodiversity from the perspective of a 9-year-old boy.
  • [04:15] How does ADHD affect Eric’s son?
  • [05:48] Eric’s son reveals his favorite thing to do to dad.
  • [08:11] Eric shares an interesting tidbit about his son that’s always fascinated him.
  • [09:35] Eric’s son loves to read! What book series is he reading right now?
  • [11:40] When Eric read fiction as a kid, he had a hard time with this regarding characters.
  • [13:32] Eric’s son shares a “time flies” joke before the break.
  • [21:54] Before resuming the interview, Eric’s son gives a humorous plug for the podcast.
  • [23:55] Eric’s son has been working on improving this social skill at school. How’s it going?
  • [24:43] Despite not having autism himself, Eric still has trouble with this.
  • [25:40] How does Eric’s son think other kids perceive him? He’s been waiting to hear someone call him this.
  • [27:07] Listen as Eric’s son reveals what he thinks about his own giftedness.
  • [29:37] Eric and his son discuss handling things that don’t come easily.
  • [30:44] After a near-slip up transitioning to a new subject, Eric asks his son to define and opine on the word “transgender.”
  • [31:02] The tables turn and Eric is now the one getting asked questions.
  • [32:14] In answer to his son’s question, Eric discusses why he started this podcast.
  • [34:52] We interrupt Eric’s answer for a spooky sound effect request complete with spooky laughter.
  • [36:47] Eric cringes a little when he listens to his first 20 or so episodes. Here’s what that tells him, though.
  • [42:13] Eric’s son tries his hand at saying “ADHD reWired” like dad.
  • [43:52] In this special part of the episode, Eric’s son playfully offers his tips for those with ADHD.
  • [45:48] When getting distracted while readying for school, here’s what Eric and his son say to get back on track.
  • [48:31] Eric’s son signs off with a quick song about coronavirus.
  • [50:10] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron by clicking on our Patreon tab at www.ADHDreWired.com.
Direct download: 383_Neurodivergence_runs_in_the_family_ericsEdit_withAds_V2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:32pm CST

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